@Butterflyblog Jobshyster – Someone who deliberately avoids getting a job while living off someone else

Mr Was Right is around this morning looking super-grumpy and super-tired which explains why the kids are trying desperately to get his attention. “Dad, Dad, can you do this?” says Sid. “Hold your willy in one hand, point your gun in the air and go ‘whooooo, whooooo’.” Mr Was Right attempts a smile, “Sid. That is just what every man would like to do when he wakes up. I’ll definitely try it tomorrow morning.”

He helps get our two dressed before chucking a man’s idea of kids’ breakfast down them. 2 Kit Kats, 2 fruit shoots and a shared pack of Twiglets before they head off into the misty morning. I wave them off dressed rather decadently in my silk pjs and thank the Lord I don’t have to deal with the additive and sugar-fuelled fireworks that will go off in the Audi in approximately 5 minutes. This morning was tough enough. Mr Was Right dropped the bombshell I’ve been dreading for the last 2 months. He told me to – GET A JOB. And, well, I kind of had to agree with him. The blog is hardly paying for itself, the kids are at school most of the day and I am starting to feel RSI nerve twinges thanks to my social media addiction. I need to get out more. Text goes out.

I need work. Any inspired suggestions?

Brrrrr Forget anything child-related, seeing how you lost Jamie the last time I asked you to watch him for 5 minutes in Ikea;)) x Vag

Brrr Given up on the dating site idea then? Xx Janey

Brrrrr With your heels and Dominatrix disposition, you’d make a great door bitch, Ms Tight. Oh and what happened to the pole-dancing? x G

I knew I shouldn’t have told G about the lessons I have been doing on and off for the past 6 months. I know what you are thinking. You need a job. You can poledance. Go figure? Believe me, I’ve tossed that idea around but, while I’ve got nothing against poledancers, doing it for a living would jar with my Goddess principles. Dancing provocatively in front of leery blokes would do little for my self-esteem and would probably put me off the male of the species. Besides, who wants a 30 something when there are all those beautiful teenage Croatians, Latvians and Hungarians doing their do in the clubs?

I had better add a few normal jobs to my CV. Not sure former model, kiss n tell blogger, tarot reader, twitterer, jolly good friend, reiki practitioner, pole dancing practitioner and rambunctious raconteur will go down too well in the current job marketplace. Or would it? Can you think of a career that embraces all my finer qualities. Hell, why stop there? Offer me a job, why don’t you?